


Braver Than You Think

by Miss_Von_Cheese, nausicaa82



Series: Pippa and Steve [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Genderswap, Kidnapping, Non-consensual Medical Procedures, Poisoning, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Whump, Workplace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-26 08:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Von_Cheese/pseuds/Miss_Von_Cheese, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nausicaa82/pseuds/nausicaa82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pippa and Steve have their first day at work as a couple, and outside factors put a strain on their new love. Can their relationship survive their lives?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

At the first notes of “Star Spangled Man with a Plan,” Pippa immediately sprang up in the bed, used to her strict morning routine. She couldn’t help smiling when she remembered the perfect lover next  to her.

“Morning, soldier, time to get up!” she announced with a grin before planting a kiss on his nose. She jumped out of bed, made a quick detour in the bathroom then came back less than six minutes later, all dressed and made up, brushing her hair, leaving behind her a flowery scent.

Steve was tying his shoes when she came back out, trying to ignore how unkempt he felt in his wrinkled shirt and days-old slacks.

“Sleep well, dear? It’s okay, we’re on time, we can stop by your place. Ah, I’m so motivated today! I’m going to do a job I love with the guy I adore. How could it be better?”

“I had a great night next to you.” He smiled and kissed her on the cheek, not wanting to smear her freshly applied lipstick. “So, you said you had a car?” he asked while pulling on his leather coat.

“Oh no, no… she’s not a car, she’s better than that!” As they got to the garage Pippa held Steve’s arm with her free hand, the other carrying her small case. “You’ve probably seen my everyday car but,” she announced while she opened the heavy door. “Here, meet Lola. I don’t take her to S.H.I.E.L.D. very often but you had to see her.”

Steve’s mouth fell open in surprise at how beautiful the car was and how seemingly perfect it was for Pippa— strong, powerful, sporty, and impeccably kept. He couldn’t help but to reach and touch the shiny hood; however, when he saw the slight flinch on Pippa’s face (there for only the smallest fraction of a second) he restrained himself. Pippa kept to herself that she usually protected Lola from unwanted hands with an impossible jealousy and sat behind the wheel, worried that Steve wouldn’t be comfortable in there.

Sliding into the passenger seat, he saw how happy she looked as she snapped her belt into the lock and checked the mirrors. He realized her lips were the same color as the car, and thinking this may be his last chance for the whole day or even longer, before she turned the key, he leaned across the seats to her. His hand resting softly on the side of her neck and jaw, he kissed her with a tender passion that surprised him.

“Thank you,” he whispered as he pulled back just slightly, his thumb grazing her jaw line. “This has been the best date.”

The kiss made her fingers slip from the wheel and she gave in to Steve’s almost Hollywood-like display of affection. She felt she was always in charge, but when he acted like that she couldn’t say her knees weren’t shaking a little.

“Thanks to you,” she replied and it felt slightly bittersweet, like an unwelcome goodbye. “I’m looking forward to more weekends like this.” She started the engine, a knot in her throat, knowing that once they would be outside, in bright lights, the magic of their secret encounter would be over. In the streets, it was still a bit cold, and Pippa regretted picking the convertible when her other car was warmer.

When she parked in front of Steve’s building she turned to him but before she could ask, he started explaining. “I’ll only need 15 minutes or so. You should come out of the cold. I have coffee and some ready to eat things upstairs. Unless, you wanted something less continental, then we’ll pick it up on the way in?”

He held her hand as they went up the flights of stairs to his floor. When he opened the door, he remembered with embarrassment how spartan his loft was. His apartment was almost the entire floor, completely open, and a bit cavernous. The only enclosed space was the bathroom.

Steve gestured around an apologetically named each of the spaces.

“This is the kitchen, and here’s my… um… one chair where I watch TV or listen to the radio, my bookcases, my drafting table, and here’s my…” Steve’s voice cracked a bit, “bed.” He had just spent two nights sleeping—or at least being— in Pippa’s bed with her, he didn’t know why suddenly it felt so scandalous to show her his California King.

“Ok, um, I’m going to take the quickest of showers and get ready. Please, make yourself comfortable, you’re more than welcome to anything I have in the fridge or pantry. I promise we won’t be late; I can do this really fast.”

Pippa looked around, smiled politely but couldn’t bring herself to say it was lovely because it clearly wasn’t. And she couldn’t pretend that “extremely clean and tidy” was a good enough compliment in this situation.

“Don’t worry love, take your time, we’ll say we were stuck in traffic if anyone complains. Go ahead,” she encouraged.

He colored a bit then pecked her on the cheek and rushed to grab some clothes from the armoire near his bed. When he closed the door, he slightly banged his head against it as he felt completely mortified.

Once Steve disappeared she examined the large room and was amazed. It looked like the apartment of this shy soldier she had met a few months ago, the one who worried he wouldn’t be the man for the job, not her loving and so caring boyfriend’s place; it wasn’t warm like the guy she had discovered this weekend. The bed was huge, the kind of bed where you can fool around without ever falling and yet she could picture him, probably always sleeping on the same side, not taking more room than he needed.

In the kitchen, she prepared some coffee with the same model of machine she had at her apartment, filled a thermos, and packed a few cereal bars and cookies she found in the cupboards so that they would have a breakfast to eat on the go. While the coffee was brewing she folded a few cloth napkins in vaguely flowery shapes and placed them in glasses on the counter to put some life in the sad kitchen. She then couldn’t help but hide a few post-its with little hearts, all signed “P,” in some drawers or under papers on Steve’s desk for him to find later, hoping it would make him smile.

Steve never got ready so quickly in his life. In the shower, he scrubbed mercilessly at his skin, and then cursed when in his haste, he cut his chin shaving. As he blotted at the blood and waited for the wound to heal, it felt like an eternity.

Each second he spent there was another second Pippa was in his apartment, most likely bored and seriously re-evaluating why she was with him. When he was finally finished and presentable for the day, he stepped out of the bathroom to find her standing near his drafting table. His stomach dropped as he tried to remember what he had been working on before their date— was it a drawing of Pippa or just answering some fan mail?  

“Uh, Pippa?” The smell of coffee made him look towards the kitchen, and when he saw the folded napkins, he instantly felt calmed and comforted. Turning back to her, he smiled. “Just let me get my boots on, and I’ll be ready.”

“Of course!” she blurted; she knew she wasn’t doing anything wrong, she wasn’t going through his stuff at all yet she felt guilty, caught with her hands on his table.

As they left, Pippa looked back and smiled. She made sure to enjoy every step they took, every bite of the cookies, every second they spent in the car sharing the same cup of coffee, every inch of road Lola covered in the traffic. She didn’t want to embarrass Steve or make him uncomfortable so she stopped around the corner just before they reached the headquarters.

“Do you… we don’t have to show up together if you wanna keep a low profile. It’s as you wish.”

“I don’t think anyone would give you flak for driving me in, would they? I mean, I’m going to keep it professional while we’re at work, but I am not going to deny it either.” He lifted her hand off the shift and kissed the back of it. “Unless you… um, don’t want people to know you’re my girl.”

Pippa smiled, touched by the way he could make her melt with his tender looks, and sighed softly. “How could I not want that?” she lied and kept driving to the restricted area until she could find a parking spot.

In truth, she didn’t want people to know. She didn’t want Steve to face the looks, the whispers, the more or less subtle unpleasant remarks. It wasn’t only that he was dating a weird girl and that everybody would wonder “how they do it,” but he was also dating the psychorigid workaholic who could spend nights at her desk and didn’t socialize with anyone but her very close friends, the serious agent who seemingly had no private life. She didn’t really have a reputation of a nice funny girl and didn’t want Steve to be seen as her miserable boyfriend. But he was also Captain America and who was she to give him orders after all?

“Now that I’ve offered you a ride with Lola the whole agency will know that you’re much more than a regular boyfriend to me,” she joked, although it was the truth, pulling her skirt down on her thighs as she closed the door.

As they walked through the parking garage to the secure elevators, Steve noticed a few of the fellow agents staring at the two of them. He had grown accustomed to it since his transformation and the fame it brought, but this seemed different in a way he couldn’t quite place.

The group piled into the elevator with Steve and Pippa near the back of the car. She was standing to his side looking straight ahead, and he couldn’t resist to rest his hand at the small of her back in a way no one else could see. When the doors opened for the physical training floor, he gave a quick squeeze and stepped off.


	2. Chapter 2

As he started prepping for his morning training session with some new agents (who all desperately needed to work on hand-to-hand combat), Steve’s mind kept drifting back to Pippa and what she’d be doing now.

Meanwhile, Pippa’s ears were almost buzzing as she smiled and nodded toward every person she couldn’t avoid; it was like Steve was still here, next to her, she had to contain herself when she wanted to turn her head to tell him something.

“Hey boss, good weekend?” Clint grinned as he passed her. Pippa replied in a tone that wasn’t even cold or dry. “Better than yours, Barton.” And she ignored his smug smirk as he walked down the corridor, so proud of himself to think he understood anything at all.

In the small waiting room next to her office six young agents were waiting for their interviews. She quickly analyzed their general appearance and behaviors, noted to herself that the two boys seemed way too confident, perhaps too immature for the job. She got ready to meet them one by one and opened Steve’s file on her laptop, just for one second, just to see his face and remember that she had something to look forward to now. This righteous pout was all hers to kiss and perhaps, for a while, her long nights and weekends wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.

After working on moves for confined spaces all morning, the trainees were looking exhausted and hungry. Steve knew it wouldn’t be wise to press them further (he could tell they had all given everything they had in the practice) and dismissed them.

“You should use your extra time to rest for Agent Romanoff’s Improvised Weapon training this afternoon. She’ll not accept any excuses nor be as permissive as I have been,” Steve warned.

The group gave slight chuckles as “thank you, sir”s while filing out of the room as Clint sauntered in.

“So, how was the date, Cap? I didn’t hear from you on Sunday like I expected. Did you kiss her? Wait… what am I saying? Did she kiss you?”

”The date was…” Steve smiled at the memory of the experience. “…great, good movie, good food… she was… amazing. We’re going to go out again in the future, and I’m not going into any more details than that.” Steve finished clearing the area for the next training session as Clint pouted and tried to get more information from the taller man. He and Clint walked the corridor to the floor where their desks and the offices were.

“There must have been something in the air besides that blizzard— Coulson had a good date this weekend, too. She never drives her precious baby in unless she’s feeling particularly good, and Tash told me that she had a date with some new guy, so it isn’t much to put two and two together.”

Steve gave a side glance to the other man who now was preoccupied with the pencils scattered on his messy desk. The Captain logged into his computer (at his very organized and clean desk) and started clearing out his inbox, trying to hide his pleased smile that others had noticed Pippa’s feeling good.

“I just hope this guy isn’t as big of an asshole as her past couple of guys. The last one was a real number, he had the audacity to tell her—”

“Barton!” Steve hissed and then immediately pulled his anger back as it wasn’t really intended for his friend and teammate. “Stop it; you’re just gossiping now.”

“We’re spies, Cap. It isn’t gossip; it’s an intelligence briefing.” Clint smiled back and started throwing pencils into the ceiling tiles above them. “What should we do for lunch?”

\--

“… and it’s going to be the first female only unit at S.H.I.E.L.D., we’re gonna try it for a while, see how it goes and hope we can make a point,” Pippa explained as she sorted the young agents’ files on her tablet.

Natasha kept a straight face but she was clearly pouting a little, visibly annoyed to have to supervise the new team. “Yes, but why does it have to be ‘female only’? You know I’m all for using stereotypes against bad guys but…”

“On one hand, it will give us the opportunity to send teams in places, countries were men and women do not share the same space. If we gotta get intel from ladies in some regions of India or Middle-East do you think we should send Stark or Barton? Not really subtle, but first I’ll have them show the council that a good unit doesn’t necessarily need men to demonstrate strength and blow up stuff. Once you’re done with them we’ll give them some… ‘funny assignments.’ Missions that will prove women of S.H.I.E.L.D. are heroes like others.”

Pippa stretched in the chair, her stomach starting to rumble a little. Natasha nodded, still not fully convinced but ready to give it a try, her handler being one of the rare persons she trusted. The spy looked at her watch and announced, “Okay I’ll let you know how it goes. Now you have three minutes and forty-three seconds to tell me about your weekend. How was your living trading card?”

Pippa smiled, blushed softly without looking up from her files. “He was… perfect. A real gentleman.” Natasha raised an eyebrow to ask for more information. “What?” Pippa blurted. “You don’t need to know okay? He was just a sweetheart, he comforted me yesterday when I received bad news…”

“Yesterday?” Natasha grinned as she got up. “He stayed the night?”

“Get out of here!” Pippa ordered with a joyful smile and an annoyed gesture. “Toldya he was a gentleman.”

Just before she got out of the office Natasha whispered excitedly: “You got Steve Rogers in your bed, now that’s my girl!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does have some nasty transphobia / harassment. If you are sensitive to such things, please proceed with caution.

It was near the end of the work day, and Steve was starting to feel his body tire from all the activity he had done that day without any sleep the night before. It was getting harder to stay awake at his desk, so when Clint asked him to spot in the weight room, Steve was glad for the opportunity to leave his reading on an unusual activity in Eastern Germany.

With the sixth sense of a teenager in a crowded high school cafeteria Pippa heard Steve’s voice as soon as he entered the room and blamed herself for being so foolish. She hadn’t seen him all day and she was starting to miss him, which of course wasn’t an excuse for pushing too hard on the bar but she did anyway because she couldn’t get rid of her damn pride.

As Clint adjusted the weights on his bar and settled onto the bench, Steve looked around the large room filled with agents and saw Pippa lifting just across from them. Their eyes met, and Steve couldn’t help but to smile at her, his pulse quickening with excitement.

“CAP! Earth to Cap; I need your attention here, buddy,” Clint protested.

“Sorry, you ready?” Steve watched Clint for any signs of distress as he bench pressed the weight, but he would steal glances at his girl every once and awhile.

_Steve is watching you, prove him that you’re strong. He likes that aspect of you. Yeah but not too strong either, show him you might still need him. Or not after all we’re in 21th century, you’re not a damsel in distress, he needs to know you can take care of yourself. But he’s gotta feel useful. Oh, he feels useful in the kitchen after all. Now that’s a feminine way to think, show him you’re not weak that’s all…_

She wasn’t weak. Just a little tired, the salad she had had for lunch already digested, she took note that before her next sessions she would need more carbs. And a bench that faced the wall because his pretty eyes didn’t help her focus at all.

Steve’s mind was turning over all the things they hadn’t worked out during that morning— did Pippa want company on the ride home, or have plans already for dinner that night? He had felt more sure when he had a plan, like when he asked her out or the plan he had made of their first date. Despite the exhaustion creeping on him, he really wanted to spend more time with her.

Clint was taking a rest between sets when Steve noticed two agents he didn’t recognize walk towards Pippa. She was wiping her shoulders and relaxing her neck, sitting on the edge of the bench when she saw the two agents coming near. They didn’t seem focused on work, didn’t have the look of agents with a message either. Pippa was about to get up and ask what they wanted when the first one stopped and nodded towards her with a disgusted pout.

“Hey, you sure you’re supposed to be here?” he asked with a faint foreign accent she couldn’t quite place. “People like you shouldn’t work for the government.” Steve had seen Pippa’s face go from shocked to upset, and he quickly made his way to her bench on the other side of the room.

Pippa’s eyes narrowed, her fists clenched as she registered everything she could about the agents, every detail, to file a complaint later. “I don’t think you realize who you’re talking to,” she stated in a soft but threatening voice.

“No, we don’t,” the other guy laughed, so certain of his superiority. “Man or woman, or what…?”

“Alien?” the first one roared, a hand on his stomach.

Pippa had never before decided to fire someone so fast, but these two would not be agents for long. She had been mocked, criticized even, but never so openly humiliated within S.H.I.E.L.D.’s facilities.

As Steve heard the two men’s mocking questions to Pippa, his vision tunneled and the sounds of grunts and clanging metal from the other agents faded away. He grabbed the two by their shirts (one in each hand), spun them around, and slammed them against the mirrored wall. They tried to struggle and get away from his grip until one of them had a good look at Steve.

“You’re Captain America!” the slightly smaller one proclaimed.

“APOLOGIZE,” Steve growled through clenched teeth.

Pippa thought for a split second that they had deserved to be shaken a little, but then she realized Steve was not himself and the scene they were creating. She shook her head with a “Let it go…” but Steve didn’t hear.

“Captain, we’re sorr—” the taller started, but Steve snapped them against the wall again, raising them up so their feet barely touched the ground.

“NOT TO ME, TO AGENT COULSON YOU IDIOTS! I don’t like bullies, especially when they try to upset the woman I love.” The two men’s faces were in shock and confusion as their eyes darted from Steve to Pippa and back again. He was on edge and raw from the adrenaline pumping through his exhausted body. It reminded him of his youth getting in fights with jerks who would harass women on the street although those times were never much in Steve’s favor.

He seemed furious, a rage Pippa had never seen on his face before. This anger startled her, and if the girlfriend in her was both pissed and worried, the agent in her wondered how it was going to end, probably not well. When he said he loved her, she knew she had completely lost control of the situation.

When they still didn’t say anything, Steve slammed them against the wall again but with a little more force, his control over his super-strength waning. He didn’t want to hold back. The taller one cried out at the impact and then with a defeated look in his eye mumbled an apology.

“Didn’t you two learn to speak clearly when addressing a commanding superior?”  

“I’m sorry, Agent.”

“Sorry, Agent Coulson; uh, please forgive us.”

“You are not remotely worthy of her forgiveness.” Steve’s disgust with them was clear in his voice, and he released his hold on them. The taller one crumbled to the ground, and Steve turned away from them to see every other person in the room was staring at him, frozen and silent. Clint’s jaw was dropped with shock.

Steve’s eyes bulged as he realized he had just proclaimed his love for Pippa in front of 40 other people— coworkers, at work, in a room that was monitored. So much for being cool and professional. He looked to Pippa with his own apology in his eyes and on his lips when the smaller man, helping his friend up, had to get a last line in.

“How disappointing to find out your childhood hero is actually a tranny-loving pervert.”

As the soon to be demoted agent let out his last come back, Pippa saw Steve’s face snap, the sudden anger back like a promise of a terrible ending for both of them. She instinctively grabbed Steve’s t-shirt to hold him back with a warning “Enough!” She couldn’t physically do anything to contain him, but she would not let him do something stupid.

Steve stopped dead at Pippa’s touch although he wanted so badly to punch the smaller man for using such a derogatory word in reference to her. He took a few breaths to calm down as the two men left the gym. He looked to Pippa and couldn’t quite read her face; his fears and paranoia immediately took over his brain supplying him with a dreaded answer: _she’s disappointed in you; you blew it, you meatball_. He backed away from her grip; the whole room was still watching them. At least he could save her some face.

“I’m sorry, Agent Coulson. I shouldn’t have expressed my feelings about you in this manner. I was wrong to do so,” he apologized in a clear and even voice everyone in the room heard, not betraying the panic attack building in his chest. “And I’m sorry for creating a scene and disturbing everyone’s workout,” he said louder, looking around to the audience he had.

He couldn’t bear to look at Pippa’s face again, so Steve then made his way to the opposite doors the two harassing agents had used. The room started to buzz as people were whispering to each other, still looking at him with shocked expressions. Only Clint gave him a smile and a subtle thumbs-up.

Before he reached the door, he was sweating, shaking, and finding it harder to breathe. Using his pass card, Steve slipped into an empty restricted-access conference room. With the setting sun providing the only light in the room, Steve crawled under the table trying to will his exhausted body to calm down, to slow his pounding heart, to take deep breaths.


	4. Chapter 4

Had it been her call, she would have slumped on a bench and taken her head in her hands, but she had already lost a bit of her credibility, so she had to stay strong in front of her coworkers. Things had to remain relatively the same. She looked at the door were the two guys had left and gave her orders.

“Barton, get these two to Colonel Fury, tell him the whole story. No need to hide anything, we cannot tolerate such behaviors in our units.” She looked around, calling out the whole audience. “You might not be all comfortable with my identity but someone who can’t show respect to a superior agent and be a decent human being will not be trustworthy on the field, you wouldn’t want them on your team.”

“You, you,” she pointed at the two closest witnesses. “Go with them and tell the Colonel everything you saw and heard.” She then turned around and walked away, feeling all the looks on her-- curious, surprised, mocking, and empathetic.

“And if I hear about anyone spreading gossip, they’ll be assigned to Banner’s surveillance for a year. I’ve heard he wants to go to Antarctica!” she threatened before leaving.

Once in the corridor she allowed herself a small sigh. She should change back to her working clothes, but she wanted to find Steve first. In the closest hall, she asked but no one had seen him recently. She tried the three doors in the corridor he must have had crossed going out of the gym. Although the last room seemed empty, she whispered a soft “Steve?” just in case.

Steve’s mind was spiraling, playing a greatest hits of his disappointing important people: his mother when he accidentally spilled the last of the milk, the nuns when he was too ill to work or study, Peggy when that secretary pulled him into a kiss, Bucky when Steve didn’t grab his hand in time, and now this.

Stark’s words were haunting him, “Wondering if they shouldn’t have kept him on ice.” He pulled himself up into a ball, and tried hard to calm down, to think of a way to fix this. He would feel better with a plan; he always felt better with a plan.

When he heard someone softly call his name, he thought for a second he was just imagining it, but he could hear other movements, too.

“Yes?” he softly replied back.

Pippa was about to close the door when she heard the tiny voice and frowned. She looked around, tried to identify the origin of the sound before understanding it was coming from under the table. With a sorry smile she crawled under the large meeting table and the vision of Steve curled up, so miserable, soothed a bit her anger and frustration. She joined him and wrapped her arms around his large chest, pulling his head to her shoulder.

“Steve…” she sighed softly. “Let me set this straight, I’m not mad at you for telling S.H.I.E.L.D. and the world about us. Of course now even the agents lost in the jungle will be aware of the gossip before my next meal.” She ran her fingers in the sweaty strands of hair on his brow. “But I am pissed because I didn’t need you to save me. Especially in front of my men. You read me?” She kissed his temple. “And I’m so mad at myself for not being able to protect you against all this. I didn’t want you to endure it… slurs, looks, people who constantly think I’m not in the right bathroom, people calling me names…”

Steve pulled back from her embrace and gave her an incredulous look.

“I didn’t think I needed to save you. You’re not weak, Pippa; anyone with an iota of a brain around here knows that. I-- I wouldn’t have acted any different if someone had said things like that to Natasha, or Stark, or hell, even Thor. Well, except for the line about loving you. I wouldn’t have said that if it had been Stark.” Steve hugged his knees closer to his body.

“It wasn’t about your needing rescue, but I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing. I can’t let things like that ride; I needed to do something.” He bit at his bottom lip and looked away from her, too nervous to ask the question Clint’s gossiping and the bully’s taunts had brought to his mind. Instead he dropped his head back onto her shoulder. “But I am really sorry for embarrassing you. I didn’t mean to; I didn’t want to do that.”

“It’s okay,” Pippa sighed, still upset that he had had to fight for her. “I overreacted, too; you know I’m not always patient. But I don’t want you to get in trouble for me. It’s not worth it. It happens all the time, you’re gonna have to learn to deal with it, or you’re gonna drive yourself crazy.”

She brushed her thumbs on his smooth cheeks, kissed his nose. “I’m gonna have to let you deal with Fury by yourself. I won’t interfere; it wouldn’t be right. I know you only wanted to do the right thing but you almost broke their necks in there,” she explained in a sorry tone, hoping she didn’t sound too patronizing. “Since you’re Captain America you probably will be spared from heavy sanctions, but we can’t let anyone get into fights with their coworkers. I’ll tell Fury the truth but the decision will remain his.”

She licked her bottom lip and added, “I don’t want you to get suspended for me. You really can’t help it, right? And I bet you couldn’t either when you were a little shrimp? You already have so many causes to fight for, don’t add my sorry ass on the list. I’m a lost cause. I know I will never be able to get everyone to like me and respect me but it’s okay, it could be much worse! Hey, I already have you…” She smiled, a slightly forced sad smile and rubbed her nose against the reddened tip of his.

“Pippa, Pippa, Pippa…” his arms relaxed and let go of his legs, reaching for her hands. At the touch, he smiled again, the feeling from this weekend returning to his chest.

“You and your fine rump are already on my list; you are the top of my list. I would get all the slaps on the wrist, reprimands, and suspensions in the world for you. Because you are worth all of them and anything else Fury could throw at me. I know you’re right, coworkers shouldn’t get into fistfights, but damn it, Pippa, coworkers—no one, actually— should be so disrespectful.

“And you deserve everyone’s respect, you’ve earned it— you’re the best shot after Clint, you work the hardest and longest hours, you keep everyone organized—” He moved his hand to her soft hair.“And you keep your head in situations that overwhelm lesser men.” His cheeks colored slightly. “Pippa, you’re the best.”

Pippa smiled at the compliment, as always touched by the way he looked at her, his eyes so bright and sincere as a child’s. The way he smiled to her with all his face made her certain she could never refuse him anything. And that perhaps, at one point, it could be dangerous.

“Okay,” she admitted with a happy sigh, tenderly ruffling his hair. “I can’t tell you what to fight for. But let’s be clear I’ll do the same for you. And don’t you dare get in my way.”  
She took his hand, kissed his palm. She wasn’t sure to know precisely what he feared, she hoped she could find the words to reassure him in time, he seemed distressed for more than one reason.

“We’re going to get out of here; I need to change, but for now I don’t want you to worry. Yes, it was awkward, but it’s done, and I’m really proud to be your girl. I won’t pretend or deny; I won’t do as if nothing happened. And… I might even show you off, but just a little,” she smiled, showing with her fingers what ‘a little’ could be.

“I’m so happy to be your guy that next time, I’ll shout it from the rooftops; maybe have cards printed up. Capt. Steve Rogers, Pippa Coulson’s Boyfriend.” Steve touched her face with a light caress and kissed her softly on the lips. “I feel like I haven’t kissed you in years,” he bit at his bottom lip and grinned.

“That’s what I was thinking,” Pippa smiled before kissing him again, a bit more insistent. The little things they had created during their long and definitely special first date were not forgotten, it was now a part of their everyday life and perhaps the beginning of something big. Somehow she felt they were already close like really good friends and shy as young lovers.

She sucked softly on his bottom lip before drawing back. “We should go before Barton starts imagining things… unless there’s something else you need to talk about, sweetheart?”

“Well, it may be too much… I’d completely understand if you feel like you’ve seen too much of me lately or if you’re still sore about earlier or if you have plans. I know you have your own life and…” Steve realized he was rambling again and took a breath.

“Would you please have dinner with me? I would like to cook you a proper meal—nothing fancy just… I want to see you some more, and show you how sorry I am for upsetting you. 1900 hours at my apartment?”

“You don’t have to a-po-lo-gize-for-a-ny-thing,” Pippa articulated, poking his nose. “But yeah, I don’t have much of a life as you’ve probably heard from gossips around here, so dinner with you is the most exciting I could get tonight. And even if, let’s say, by any chance Natasha planned to take me to some crazy place to have fun, she would never allow me to refuse a date with you for her. She knows you matter a lot to me.”

She got up and pulled him to his feet before straightening his rumpled clothes. “It’s a date, you cook, and I’ll bring the dessert.” And with a kiss, a last tender look behind, she walked out, worried about him but happy to enjoy another dinner soon.

When she entered the locker room again, she felt all the looks from the other agents-- jealousy, curiosity, and perhaps even anger. She knew that now some other agents didn’t only envy her job but her boyfriend as well. For the first time she felt like the top cheerleader, both popular and hated, her first taste of pure feminine rivalry, and to be honest, she slightly liked it.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve stopped by his desk to pick up his things for the day and found Clint there with a smirk on his face.

“Cap, you sly dog; you didn’t tell me your date this weekend was Coulson! You now have a meeting with Fury at 0900 tomorrow.”

“How mad was he?”

“Well, when I told him what happened, he started laughing — amazed that anyone would be stupid enough to mock Coulson to her face. It’s honestly too stupid to be in this division. I don’t think we’ll see them around much anymore.

“So, I always imagined her as an aggressively efficient kisser, like has it down to the millisecond, perhaps gives a report after regarding your performance, a bit cold but not in a really bad way.”

Steve just looked at him, tight-lipped, while pulling on his leather jacket.

“Oh come on Steve, you aren’t going to tell me _anything_?”

“Fine, I’ll tell you something, Clint.” The archer’s eyes widened with anticipation of juicy details as Steve balled a piece of paper and threw it playfully at his friend. “Stop imagining what it would be like to kiss my girlfriend, understand?”

“Sir, yes sir.” Clint smirked and gave a salute as Steve left to prepare for his dinner date.

\--

As she was rectifying her make-up for her date, Pippa felt Natasha sneak behind her and ask softly how she was, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” Pippa lied. “Nothing I haven’t heard before, you know.”

Natasha slightly tilted her head with an undefinable look. “Not too upset that he kicked their asses before you could?”

Pippa allowed herself a small smile, pulling the door to get to her office. Natasha knew her too well, Pippa wasn’t sure how much and if it was a bit worrying yet she still loved to know she could rely on her. “I try to respect protocols now. I really try,” she assured, not really believing it herself.

She waved at Natasha, dropped by her office to synchronize the computer with her tablet and decided she would get a taxi to join Steve’s apartment so that she could work on the way. After a short call to a team in Australia she left, grabbed four slices of pecan pie from the coffee shop and was soon installed in a cab, replying to her emails and filing paperwork during what seemed like a good hour’s ride in the dense traffic. As she was having trouble finalizing her last message her eyes caught the name on the driver’s license, _Ong Lek_.

“Excuse me sir, would you by any chance know how to translate “No negotiation possible” in Central Thai please?”

\--

In a few hours, he had shopped, straightened up, and tried to rally against how tired he was with a very cold shower and very hot coffee. He dressed in the fitted black polo shirt and jeans and finally started on dinner, a simple meal he hoped she would enjoy.

When he opened his spice drawer to prep the steaks he was going to grill, he saw something yellow peeking from under his jar of cinnamon. The simple note, a heart and her initial, made his chest swell and he bit at his lip, smiling. He tucked the note in the wooden cigar box of mementos he had in his nightstand.

Adrenaline rushed through her veins as the elevator got closer and closer from the floor, she was there not so long ago yet she felt excited like for a first date. Everything was still new and thrilling, she knew Steve would make this evening just perfect and treat her like a queen. For no valuable reason her heart pounded in her chest just before she knocked on the door.

Steve was pulling out the sweet potatoes from the oven when he heard the knock at the door. He grabbed the roses he had picked up for her at the market and realized he was still barefoot. He opened the door with a bashful smile. Pippa broke into a large grin when she saw the flowers.

“For me?” she beamed before shaking her head. “Of course for me, well I don’t see anyone in here. That was a silly question coming from a supposedly super agent. Thank you so much!”  
She took the roses and tiptoed to kiss him. “How are you, love?”

“I’m much better now that you are here,” he replied. He showed her in and took the heavy bag from her shoulder, noticing her suit.

“Did you come straight from work?” There was a tinge of concern in his voice. Perhaps something had gone bad and she had to stay late or this was too early for dinner. “I’m sorry if I rushed you, but you still look gorgeous, don’t you?” He guided her to sit at his dining table. He had thought to buy some candles at the store to help it look less stark and more warm.

“I’m about to grill the steaks, and then we’ll be set to eat. Um, how do you want yours?” He then moved to open the bottle of red he had picked out for them to enjoy with the meal.

“Can you make mine very rare, if you can stomach to cook it like that, of course!” Pippa replied, handing him the pretty cake box. “I hope you like pecan pie.”

She followed him to the kitchen where he was once again working his magic, doing things Pippa thought could only be done in movies and cooking shows. Her observing eyes noticed one of the post-its were gone, good thing!

“Oh and yes, I don’t like to lose time, I thought the sooner I would be here, the more I could stay with you,” she confessed with a charming smile, more and more comfortable around him. She removed the pencil that held her hair, placed her jacket on the back of a chair, took off her shoes and popped open three buttons of her white shirt. “Here, I’m casual and ready to devour whatever it is you’re creating, chef.”

“I like the way you think, Sweetheart.” Steve grilled the beef on the stovetop for just a few minutes, then plated the food— a cut tomato and basil salad (“You seem to really like tomatoes,”), sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts, and the steaks.

He pulled out the chair for her as they sat down to eat dinner. The music he had turned on when he was cooking was the only sound for a few minutes while both of them just ate and smiled at each other.

His knee was against hers; a simple touch that helped him feel that this was real. He wasn’t eating alone; he had someone to share with. The day’s troubles floated away, and for the first time in his life, he felt the peace that comes when things aren’t hard.

“Thank you, Pippa, for coming over tonight. I… I really needed it.”

Pippa took his hand over the table and squeezed it gently, touched that he could express precisely her feelings. “Oh, me too. I’m much better here than alone at home, never doubt that.”  
She finished her sweet potato and put down the fork and knife before brushing her thumb on his cheek. A small noise coming from her bag made her frown; she shrugged it off, “It’s a text, nevermind. 99% of chances that it’s Natasha asking what I’m up to or Pepper complaining about Stark.

“So… did you manage to calm down? You seemed pretty upset this afternoon. I don’t think even Stark had ever seen you so angry…”

Steve pushed a sprout across his plate with his fork for a few moments, staring at it intently. He couldn’t quite bring himself to tell her the whole truth of the matter; why their mocking her had angered him so much. This relationship, no matter how comfortable they already were, was still really new, and he felt he had given her enough of his problems already to deal with.

“I’m so sorry about this afternoon. I really hope I didn’t upset you too much, that I didn’t…” It would be ridiculous to think that Pippa didn’t know how strong he was before. She was his handler and had seen him kill enemies with his bare hands.

“Pippa, you know I love you and my relationship with you really is the most precious thing I have in m—” Steve was cut off by the same noise from her bag again. He smiled, a little grateful for the interruption as he worried he was starting to get cheesy again. “You seem to be a popular girl tonight; I really don’t mind if you need to check on that. It could be something important.”

“Ohhh someone’s gonna be in trouble,” Pippa promised, rolling her eyes at the noise, furious that she had to interrupt Steve’s so sweet tirade. She got up to check on her phone but first joined Steve on the other side of the table to take his face in her hands.

“This relationship is also one of the best things in my life at the moment, love,” she admitted. “So please stop looking like you’re gonna lose it in a split second. You don’t have to be perfect for me, and I am certainly not for you but it doesn’t matter. There are things that you could do to make me leave you, but these are not things the Steve Rogers I know would do, trust me.”

She pulled away reluctantly from him, hating to leave behind those loving devoted eyes and walked to her bag. Two texts in a row, if that was Stark and his silly requests again… Pippa frowned as she unlocked the screen.

“Oh, shit! Sitwell and Hill, that’s not good at all. All agents needed, something about Eastern Europe… you didn’t get anything?” Steve pulled his phone from his back pocket, but it didn’t have any notifications on it, just the background Clint had put on it a few weeks before.

“No, I didn’t. Maybe they knew I’d be with you so they didn’t need to send it?” he asked but already knew that was not the way S.H.I.E.L.D. worked. He looked up and saw her already back into her buttoned up, professional mode and gathering her bag.

“Pippa, wait… it’ll take at least ten minutes to get a taxi, let me drive you in on my bike.” Steve reached for the red boots of his Captain America uniform that he kept near the door and stepped into them.

Pippa nodded, “I’m so, so, so sorry to ruin the dinner,” she pouted as they left. “Stay there with me for a while if you don’t mind, perhaps it’s not that important and we can go on when it’s solved?”

She hoped with all her heart the date could continue later but every time the phone rang after 8:00, every time they called “all agents”, the fear of a disaster was inevitable.

She looked as Steve climbed on the bike she had seen several times and settled behind him. Her skirt, definitely not appropriate for these situations, slid up her thighs, and she wrapped her arms around his torso. “I’m so sorry sweetheart…”

“It’s not a problem. When duty calls, you have to answer it.” He passed his helmet over his shoulder. “I only have the one, and I’m more hard headed than you,” he joked, trying to not have her feel bad. Pippa took the helmet but just because she knew that on her vehicles she wanted her rules to be respected, so she wouldn’t fight Steve on this case.

As he raced through the backstreets to get Pippa back to HQ (a route he knew well so he could also answer a call quickly), it was hard for him to completely focus on the road when she held onto him so tightly under his leather jacket.


	6. Chapter 6

During the short trip, she thought about everything she had read lately about Eastern Europe-- floods in Germany and Hungary, drastic reduction of LGBT rights in Russia, terrible economic and social crisis in Greece, and some bombings in Balkan territories, but nothing that required S.H.I.E.L.D.’s expertise yet. It probably wasn’t so important, they would perhaps even come home sooner than expected.

But when they joined the main meeting room where all agents were gathered, she felt her throat tighten. On the large screens, the map of Europe was red. Attacks had been signaled from Jaworzno to Ljubljana and in the top left corner Hydra’s logo was on display.

“Why is Captain Rogers in the War Room?” Agent Hill’s voice cut through the buzz of the other agents’ chatter. Steve turned to look at her, confused as he had never been denied access before.

“The call was for all agents to report,” he replied.

“You are not an agent, and you are not needed for this situation.”

Steve gestured to the screen. “If Hydra’s attacking, I may not be needed, but I certainly am going to fight.”

“Not this time, Cap,” Director Fury answered, stepping up to the command table. “You need to stand down.

“Barton! Take the Captain for a walk; I don’t want to see him anywhere near this. Coulson, you’re my good eye, I need you to look at this intelligence we gathered over the last hour…”

Steve tried to look at Pippa to say something to her, a mouthed ‘be safe,’ but she was already among the sea of black suits. Clint held Steve by the upper arm to walk him from the room and out of the hearing range of the Director’s informing the group that Hydra was trying to set a trap to capture Captain America.

She didn’t see him leave, almost certain that he would insist on staying, but when she looked again he was gone with Clint.

“What the… what do you mean, to capture Captain America?” she frowned, shaking her head in disbelief. “It’s incredibly dumb, do they really think they can do that? What have you found?”  
She quickly looked at all the devices and screens spread in front of her, read the reports from different teams that all came to the same conclusion, Steve was the most probable target. She leaned against a desk, crossed her arms with a pout.

“Well… what do we do? It won’t be easy to convince St… Rogers to stay put,” she sighed. “We can send discreet teams over there but if they get captured… and we can’t let them kill civilians either. I could get a team and go investigate, nobody knows me yet.”

\--

Clint had walked him straight to the coffee shop across from HQ, not even stopping to get their coats. Although it was late, it was still open. However, because it was in a business district, it was rather deserted. Clint paid for two black coffees, and walked over to Steve sitting at a table. He was trying to get a better look at the four men in a corner booth; the only other customers present.

“Why wouldn’t Fury want me on the mission?” Steve whispered.

“I’m not sure; I just know that you specifically weren’t supposed to be apart of it.” Clint shrugged as he put a pinch of salt into his drink. Steve’s heart sank; he was sure that his incident in the gym that afternoon had him benched, a punishment from Fury for not keeping his cool. He started to wonder how long this would be for, how many people would be hurt because of his absence, his not being able to protect the agents— not being there to protect his handler.

Steve jumped to his feet, his chair scraping against the floor. He had decided he had to go back. He’d take a different reprimand, but it was foolish for them to go without him. Not when they could use strength. Clint grabbed for his arm as if he could read Steve’s thoughts.

“I gotta keep you away from it, Captain.” Steve stopped at his friend’s use of his title, and then overheard the men at the booth’s conversation.

“ _Das ist ihm gibt. Ich bin überzeugt davon, griff er mich an diesem Nachmittag_.” Steve focused a little more on the two men with their backs to him and finally recognized them as the bullies from the gym. He was about to say something to Clint when one of them pulled a gun out of his coat and shot the archer in the neck with a tranquilizer.

Steve was advancing on them without a second thought, but before he could get close, the other three had also pulled out their weapons. Steve heard the pop and whizzing then looked down at the three darts sticking out of his chest. He made a motion to pull them out, but his vision blurred and the room swayed. Steve was now only slightly aware that he was on the floor, the cafe growing darker, and the sounds of the room fading away. A bespectacled man stood over him with a predatory grin.

“What luck! We don’t have to keep trying to get your attention, Captain. Nonetheless, the plans have been made; we should continue with the scheduled bombings.” He patted Steve’s cheek.  
“Fritz, _bringen Sie das Auto._ ”

Then Steve’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and everything went black.

\--

Pippa crossed her arms, looking at the agent next to her. “Take note: Polish, German, Russian, Bulgarian, Czech, Hungarian, Slovene, Croatian-- gather all agents who speak two or more of these languages and set up three teams. We leave in two hours.”

She turned, joining Fury, Hill, and Romanov around a table. “I’m gonna need your skills for this one,” she mumbled to the redhead. “But seeing the complexity of these facilities I might need a good sniper, too.”

She looked up to Fury who sighed. “Take everyone you need; I really don’t want to have to explain the President that our mascot is gone.” Pippa flinched at the caricature of Steve but nodded, giving Natasha a quick glance. This would be the three of them in Budapest again, good old times. She grabbed her phone and explained.

“We at least need to try to reason with Captain Rogers; you know him if we don’t give him a good incentive, he won’t be an obedient little soldier… and he isn’t answering his phone, of course!”

She tried Barton as well and had a bad feeling when he didn’t pick up either. The tones were normal; they obviously had a signal and battery life. They couldn’t have gone far from the headquarters, perhaps even still there in one of the resting rooms or the gym. Natasha had already pushed a tech from his desk and checked Clint’s location.

“They’re over at Southside Cafe, probably haven’t heard you. Go get them, I’ll pack our stuff,” she encouraged with a small smile, already excited by the adrenaline the thought of a new mission gave her.

Pippa was only slightly reassured as she crossed the main hall to join them, it seemed really strange that none of them would hear their phones. It’s when she pushed the large door of the HQ open and immediately noticed that the shop was already closed, all lights off, that she realized something was off. She picked a talkie from the closest security agent’s belt.

“Romanov? Tell me they moved.” She crossed the street as Natasha confirmed that according to their trackers they were still at the same spot. Pippa quickly checked the shop’s door, closed, with nobody inside. She turned around and scanned the streets: there was no one, not even a car moving. Pippa tried again to call Steve who again didn’t pick up. She was starting to get really worried when she saw the discreet flash of light coming from the gutter, under a car. She crouched on the sidewalk with care and felt her temperature drop, a sudden fear, a terror even, in her stomach. She retched and mumbled in the talkie, not even believing her own words.

“C… code black. They have Clint and Steve…”


	7. Chapter 7

There was a terrible buzzing noise, like a swarm of flies just above his head. Steve slowly opened his eyes to harsh fluorescent lights in a small room he didn’t recognize. A flash of panic (how he hated waking up in unfamiliar places) and then he remembered the events of the coffee shop that lead to his being here. He looked over to see Clint on the floor across the room. He was on his side facing away from Steve and was only slightly moving.

Steve moved to his friend, and saw his shallow breathing, took his pulse, and checked his pupils.  
“Hey Hawk, you’re going to be ok, you were drugged. It’ll be ok. We’re going to get out of here and take these bastards down,” Steve tried to comfort. Clint gave him a lazy lopsided smile.

“Your voice is real deep, like God’s or Barry White,” Clint slurred. The drug was obviously still in Clint’s system, but he was a great S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and would most likely shake it off at any moment. Steve held onto that hope as he surveyed the room. There was nothing but a solid metal door, the annoying lights, a bucket, and a closed circuit camera mounted in the corner.   
They had taken Steve and Clint’s boots, watches, and the contents of their pockets. The room was cold, and the cement floor and walls felt terrible.

When Clint started retching, Steve pulled the bucket towards them and helped him sit up, supporting his body as he clearly didn’t have the strength to do so himself. Clint seemed a bit better after vomiting. Steve used the tail of his polo shirt to wipe Clint’s face. 

“How long have we been here?” Clint slurred.

“I’m not sure, I just woke up myself.” Steve rubbed the bit of stubble on his chin. “Maybe a day, maybe two. Our backup should be here any moment now.” Steve smiled trying to think positive thoughts.

But the truth was he didn’t know anything at all, not even knowing if anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. knew they were missing. Pippa would be so worried, right? If she knew, she could already be on the mission in Europe, not knowing. Hell, he and Clint might be in Europe the men had been speaking German. Clint had passed out again, leaning against Steve’s shoulder. Steve sat there trying to formulate a plan, but unable to come up with anything.

\---

For the last two days, Fury had felt more useless than ever, and every time he tried to say something, he was silenced by Pippa giving orders so the director had stepped back and let her do as her instinct commanded.

As soon as she had discovered the phones, incredibly strong for a little woman like her whose boyfriend has just disappeared, she had almost literally taken control of New York’s section of S.H.I.E.L.D., ordered everybody onto the helicarrier and organized the rescue mission. She hadn’t slept, surviving on coffee and energy drinks. After twenty-two hours, ten forensics reports, and the observation of several surveillance videos, they had found a match for one of the fingerprints on Clint’s phone.

The atmosphere on the ship was electric, for once everybody thought that perhaps Fury wasn’t so severe after all. In the corner of the lab, Natasha was sharpening a knife, furious to be forced to stay put when her Clint was missing. Pippa pushed the door, talking quickly on the phone.  
“Sorry, sir… it doesn’t work that way, what do you think? If we gather the Avengers people will notice that Captain America is not there and the last thing we need is the world knowing America’s weakness. Yes… that’s it, we’re doing our job.” 

She turned to the young agent and her face tightened as she recognized the man from the gym on the screen. “What’s this?”

“He’s Leonard Kr…” the agent started.

“Yes, I can read, thank you,” Pippa mumbled, leaning to read the file. Leonard Krills, born in Pennsylvania, lost his father in Iraq, member of several white supremacist groups. It seemed he had moved to the next level. “Share this with everyone on the ship,” she ordered before storming out of the room, followed by Natasha. Once on the bridge, she clapped her hands for attention.

“We need this man-- alive for now. I want to know everything about him: where he lives, who are his family, his friends, his habits, how many hours he sleeps at night, the color of his piss, I want everything! Use all you can, I don’t care, get Echelon, NSA, talk to everyone, use Google and social networks I don’t give a damn about people’s privacy right now!” 

She took a short breath and added, “And if one of you dares to think that I’m overreacting for personal reasons, just imagine what it would be like to have an army of super soldiers fighting for Hydra!”

\--

Steve figured it had been at least six hours since he had regained consciousness. Clint was still slipping in and out, rousing only to vomit again and again. After the eighth time, mostly dry heaves, Clint’s head lolled back, his face was red and streaked with tears from the exertion. Steve saw how the archer’s lips were cracked and his eyes still couldn’t focus. 

Suddenly the door opened, and a number of heavily armed Hydra goons came in with drawn guns. Steve didn’t move from his spot, but slightly shifted so he was between them and Clint. Then the man in glasses from the cafe came in with a tray of medical equipment and bottles of water. 

“Captain, I see you and your companion have been enjoying your accommodations here with us.” His eyes traveled to the bucket. “Making use of the facilities,” he chuckled. Steve just stared at him, his jaw set.

“We are going to take your blood, now. But you get to make a choice. After all, you Americans always love having options, don’t you? We can do it the easy way: we use a needle and for each milliliter of your blood you give us, you will get a milliliter of water.” 

“I’m not thirsty,” Steve lied, his voice as even and cold as he could muster. 

“Perhaps, but your friend there— how much longer do you think he can go?” Steve looked over at Clint again. If they had been there for two days, his being sick like he had been, Steve knew he would die soon without water. 

“My other option?”

“We use a bullet and collect the blood that spills out. No water on account of the trouble and cost of the artillery; this is a recession after all, Captain.”

Steve tried to think of another way, a third option, but he couldn’t figure one that ended favorably for Clint or himself. There were too many unknown variables, (how many more men were outside the door; how far Steve would need to carry Clint; if he could even protect Clint while fighting), and he knew they needed more time. With his face still stern, Steve gave a slight nod and presented his arm. The man gave the same predatory smile and clapped his hands in pleasure. The others kept their guns aimed while the man tied Steve’s arm to find a vein. 

“This is just a temporary loan,” Steve gritted through his teeth.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been five days since Steve and Clint had been taken. Three days since they had found Krills’ name and yet it lead nowhere. They had been through his apartment, so cold and impersonal they understood it was just a cover, nothing to help finding him, not a single clue or evidence. Pippa was starting to despair, out of options, it was the only small lead they could follow and still nothing.

“I guess the usual 72 hours don’t matter for superhero abductions, right?” she mumbled, squeezing nervously a little ball of blue tac.

Natasha shrugged. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him. I don’t think they would kill him.”

“Sure, I know that,” Pippa sighed. “I am guessing they will wanna try to replicate the serum and develop a new Red Skull or some freak like that but… yeah, I guess he’s not dead, yet.”

She caught a glimpse of sadness in Natasha’s eyes and stopped worrying the blue tac. How could she complain when her boyfriend was almost immortal and most probably a great value for Hydra? Clint on the other hand was useless to them and his chances of survival very slim. Perhaps was it already too late?

“I’m sorry, I-- I’m sure Clint’s alright. You know Steve, he would give his life to save his friends. I don’t think he’d let them hurt him.” Her words managed to relax Natasha only a bit, but it was better than nothing. Pippa looked all around on the monitors but nothing had been found, no new evidence, no leads. Nothing.

Natasha’s shoulders slumped on the desk. “You need to rest Coulson, you’re not gonna make it otherwise.”

“Same for you,” Pippa snorted. “I took a nap two days ago.”

“Three days ago,” Natasha corrected. “And you need to eat more than cereal bars. How are you gonna keep those sexy hips of yours if you lose weight?”

Pippa yawned with an amused smile. She stretched a little, checked the monitors once again. “There’s nothing to do right now, perhaps we can take a few minutes to rest. Can’t promise I’ll manage to sleep though.”

“Don’t make me sedate you with my hands,” Natasha threatened, getting up from her chair to follow Pippa out of the office. They joined the infirmary where they found an empty room, leaned on the only bed, back to back, one facing the door, the other the window. 

“You’d better sleep!” the spy ordered, but a soft snore was the only reply, Pippa already gone.  
When someone slammed the door open about four hours later, both women jumped, their faces and ruffled hair proving how deeply they had slept, instinctively adopting a defensive posture.

“Coulson, we’ve got a guest,” Hill announced in a feverish tone.

“Don’t speak riddles!” Pippa grouched, rubbing her eyes with her fists.

She got up, fully awake, at the very moment Hill told them. “Leonard Krills, ma’am. We got him.”

\--

It all fell into a pattern but unfortunately not a consistent one. The man would come in with water and the equipment, and exchange the rations for Steve’s blood. After the first time, he brought small packets of food as well, but with a price of more blood. At first Steve thought it could be way to mark the days, but sometimes it would seem like a few days had passed between the interactions, other times just a few hours. 

It was worse than any other medical procedure Steve had ever experienced. The sting of the needle felt sharper somehow, and the man would wiggle it to speed up the flow. When he would finally withdraw the needle, he never put gauze over Steve’s puncture to stop the blood. 

Steve would then feel light-headed and lethargic, try to curl his arm up to make it stop. He was worried as each time they would take more blood than Steve had ever lost in one go, but at least he would only feel this terrible for a little while.

After the third time, Clint had enough water and kept a bit of the food down so he could realize what was going on. When it was just the two of them again, he tried to help put pressure on the wound to help it clot and heal. 

“Damn it, Rogers!” he hissed. “You aren’t supposed to give the bad guys what they ask for. You don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

“I weighed my options, this seemed the best course to take.”

“Steve,” Clint’s eyes were panicked now. “You know what they’re doing with it, don’t you? What you could be facilitating?”

“It’s a possibility, but a small one. For the past 70 years people have been trying to replicate it, but if S.H.I.E.L.D. has had it’s best minds on it and not been able to do anything, do you really think Hydra will figure it out?” Steve was shivering from the cold in the room and the loss of so much blood. 

“It was the only way to get what _I_ wanted, more time and necessary rations for you. S.H.I.E.L.D. is looking for us; they’ll find us. We’ll get out of here.”

“Come on Steve, you need to rest.” Clint pulled at the larger man, who rested his head on his friend’s thigh and covered his eyes with the arm not stained with rust colored streaks, trying to block out the harsh light that was never turned off. 

“Last time, I dreamed that Romanov and Pip— Coulson found us. It was amazing-- guns blazing, goons dropping to the ground, but then I woke up” Steve mumbled. There was a long silence only filled by the lights.

“Do you really love her, Steve?” Clint asked, low. The two of them hadn’t talked about the incident at the gym or the date— events that seemed like they just had happened but also were ages ago. 

“Yes, I feel as if I do.”

“Did you tell her? I mean… other than when you were shouting at other people?”

“Yes, I did.”

Clint slightly shook, then started to chuckle until it grew into a full out maniacal laugh. Steve moved his arm and looked up at the archer. 

“Have you cracked? What’s so funny?”

“Fuck, Steve— yeah, S.H.I.E.L.D. is definitely going to find us. And when they get here, she’s going to destroy every last one of these dickheads. It’ll be a bloodbath. Ha! I was worried, but when she finds out… did I ever tell you about the funny thing that happened when she was on the way to Thor’s hammer in New Mexico?”

“No.” Steve slightly smiled and covered his eyes again as Clint started to speak. 

“Ok, so you know how she loves those little donuts, right? Well,….”


	9. Chapter 9

Pippa plastered on her face her most convincing smile just before she entered Fury’s office. It was going to be tough, but she had no choice. Bruce was nervously standing next to Fury’s desk, checking all the options, ready to get away. He trusted S.H.I.E.L.D. now, but not that much.

“Doctor Banner!” Pippa smiled reaching for his hand. “You have no idea how grateful we are that you’re here. Thanks for coming.”

“It’s okay,” Bruce shrugged, lips pursed. “So what’s going on? What do you need me for? Shouldn’t we, uh… call the Avengers?”

Pippa took a deep breath, she knew she was about to insult one of the most brilliant minds of this generation and she didn’t want to piss off Banner, not in fear of the Hulk but by pure sympathy for the man. She crossed her arms and explained.

“I’m going straight to the point. We have lost Captain America and Hawkeye six days ago. They were taken by Hydra, we don’t know if they’re still alive, we absolutely have no idea of their location, and I let you guess what these bastards could do with Steve as a lab rat.”

Bruce turned pale and removed his glasses, frowning in concern. “Impossible, they managed to take Steve and Clint? This is… wow… I’m gonna help you of course, what can I do for you? Want me to search for a certain type of magnetic fields or do you think they emit gamma radiations from their facilities, I…”

“Hhh… no,” Pippa confessed, trying to look contrite as she brushed her knuckles covered in bruises from the last interrogation. “Thirty-six hours ago we captured one of the men who abducted them, we did all we could but we couldn’t get any information. You know we’re not newbies, even Natasha tried to manipulate him, several times, but he won’t say anything and he’s for now the only person we have to know where they are kept. We really need to find them. We wouldn’t have bothered you if we weren’t desperate. We might need someone a little bit more… persuasive, we’re running out of time.”

Bruce looked away as he understood what was asked of him. He seemed upset but not angry, just sad not to be recognized for who he really was. Pippa walked to him with a sorry smile.  
“Nothing scares him, he’s just ready to die for his cause, we had to tie his arms to prevent him from suicide. I just want to frighten him, make him fear something worse than a simple death. I am sorry to make you come here just for the Big Guy but it’s Steve and Clint we’re talking about.”

“I know,” Bruce sighed. “I understand. I’ll do it for my friends. Don’t ever ask for anyone else.”

Pippa nodded, relieved to know there was still a chance to get their boys’ location. “Thank you… for your cooperation.”

She was locked in her office, massaging her thigh after her scheduled Sunday injection and eating donuts to avoid a possible dizzy spell when Pippa heard the loud roar coming from the bottom of the Helicarrier and smiled. If that didn’t make the bastard talk…

\--

Steve could tell that the prolonged conditions were starting to get to Clint, starting to get to Steve, too. They had both lost complete sense of time, were dehydrated, starved, and unable to get quality sleep because of the lights, the cold concrete sapping their warmth, and the constant headaches. While his misery made Steve quiet and contemplative, Clint became more talkative. 

“So, I think ‘Dr. Strangelove’ has taken enough blood to give a full transfusion to at least ten men, well, normal sized men.”

“How did you find out his name?”

“No, no… that’s a reference to a movie. It’s spot on, too. We’ll watch it when we get back.”

“Oh,” Steve sighed. In his heart, he was beginning to doubt they would ever get back. Stark had been missing for three months before they found him, and they had known he was missing, which area to look in, and it wasn’t even S.H.I.E.L.D who found him.

Steve wasn’t sure how long he could last as a human blood bank, and he feared that they were only keeping Clint alive as the carrot to get Steve to do what they said. If Steve couldn’t play along; well, he wasn’t quite prepared to think of what they would then do to Clint. 

“We’ll have a double date night; I don’t think Tasha has seen it either… although it’s about the Cold War, so maybe that wouldn’t be the best of plans. But yeah, a movie, some beer, a few pizzas. I could eat about 3 large pizzas right now. Yeah, pizza and our ladies. Wouldn’t that be good, Steve?”

Before he could answer, the door opened again. ‘Dr. Strangelove’ didn’t have his usual supplies, and Steve tensed; change was usually bad in situations like this. 

“Captain, you will come with us or we shoot your companion ” The armed guards all focused on Clint. 

“He’s not going anywhere.” Clint declared, and although his legs were wobbly, his stare was intense. 

“It was for your benefit. Our tests have been unfruitful, it is time to extract tissue and bone samples for our lab. I did not think you would like to watch your hero be sliced like an apple.”

Steve stepped between the men, his arms raised to try and calm the situation down. “It’s ok; I’ll go along willingly and not cause any problems as long as you guarantee you will let him go.”

“Of course, Captain. That was always a part of our plans.” The man smiled and lead him out of the room; Steve felt more uneasy as to what that could have meant. 

\--

Germany, 150 miles north from Düsseldorf. They hadn’t picked an original place, Pippa thought as she joined the huge protected cell where the Big Guy had taken care of Krills. She took the shock blanket from a medic’s hands and rushed to Bruce to help him cover himself.

“Is-- is it okay?” the scientist mumbled, shaking a little from exhaustion.

“It is, thank you doctor. We’re on our way, we’ll be there in about one hour, maybe less. Thanks for your efforts, really. He told us more than we expected.” Pippa stepped back and looked away, as well as almost all the medical team, while Bruce put on a pair of jeans.

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to Hulk out again,” Bruce sighed. “If you want his help to attack, I’m gonna need some time to recover.”

Pippa cut him off, shaking her head. “No, thank you, you’ve done just enough. We’re going to get them as soon as we can, we have waited for too long.” She hesitated for a while, pulled her business card from her pocket. “Hey, listen… I’m the one who wanted to call you to try and save my man. I owe you one, if you ever need anything just call me.”

“Your man?” Bruce chuckled, taking the card yet surprised by her words. “You certainly have grown possessive of your idol since New York, Coulson.”

“Things have changed,” Pippa assured, eyes filled with promises of blood spilled and quick deaths. “Now he is my man.”

She turned around and quickly got to the armory to get ammo and fill her holsters, the amount for a serious mission. They knew the location, an ex-factory turned into a secure lab, the different ways to get in and out but not precisely the number of men and weapons. It was hazardous but they couldn’t wait for a back-up, not now.

When she got to the bridge where all teams had gathered to get Fury’s orders, she heard him talk about “collecting proof and every part of their experiments,” “capturing Hydra soldiers alive,” and “taking as many prisoners as they could.” Pippa smirked. She quickly glanced at Natasha whose looks were as cold as hers. There was a time for diplomacy and a time for vengeance. It had become personal, now it was just good old-fashioned revenge.


	10. Chapter 10

As they strapped Steve down onto the metal operating table, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine he was back in Pippa’s bed. The softness of the sheets and her skin, the warmth and weight of her body curled into his side. He thought about the sound of her softly breathing against him, the rise and fall of her chest.

Without any preamble, the technician cut away Steve’ jeans, exposing his leg. Then the doctor in one motion flayed the skin off of his shin from ankle to knee. Steve was proud he didn’t cry out although he felt dizzy and tears immediately ran down his cheeks.

\--

Following the plans barely reconstituted by a traumatized Krills, Pippa, Natasha and a few men found the floor where prisoners were kept in cells. There were a lot, many people speaking various languages but as soon as Natasha shouted “Clint!” a voice was heard above others and they could free the archer. Pippa thought her heart was going to fail her when he told them they had just taken Steve away.

Clint was hurt, exhausted, and visibly panicked at the thought. Something in his eyes revealed the evils he had seen in there and even if he was too weak, he grabbed the bow Natasha handed him and started running with them, limping a bit. 

As the three of them were driven by anger, fear, and adrenaline, no man from Hydra could even think about stopping them on the way to the “surgical unit.” They heard a heartbreaking scream, Natasha adopted a defensive position, ready to operate a tactical entrance when Pippa kicked the door open, terrified to be too late.

When the bone saw had touched Steve’s tibia, he couldn’t stay quiet any longer, and his body started to thrash hard against the restraints as the bone was expertly cut. His head felt cloudy and his body suddenly very cold. His body went limp as he tried very hard to just keep breathing. When he saw Pippa advance, just like he had dreamed, he knew he had to be hallucinating.

She saw Steve on the table, so pale and immobile under the white florescent lights. The doctor, scientist, or sadist, whatever he was, looked up, his bloody hands holding a saw deeply sunk in Steve’s leg. She didn’t know if it was too late, she didn’t want to think about it. 

She shot the man, aimed squarely for the head. Once, twice. It was too bad for questioning, too bad for any trials or a judgement. Her hand firm on the gun, she walked to him and kept shooting repeatedly as he fell on the ground, kept pulling the trigger until the magazine was empty and the corpse’s face was an unidentifiable red mess on cold concrete.

Only then, after a few clicks of the hammer, she lowered her arm and let the weapon fall. “I lost it,” she murmured, not even shocked. “I never lose it.”

“Self defense,” Clint assured behind her.

“He attacked you, we saw it,” Natasha added as Pippa shyly looked at the table, afraid of what she would see there.

Steve was trying to move his head around, confused. Gunshots usually were the end of the dream, and he would wake back up in the room with Clint. A woman was leaning over him and the light from behind her made her look like the picture of [Saint Margaret of Antioch](http://www.jehannedarc.org/margaret2.jpg) he had seen in Sunday School. He made to reach out to her, but his arms were still restrained. 

“Please help me. I have to get back to my Pippa,” Steve murmured, his breath becoming more rapid. “She’s beautiful like you and always on time, even when demigods try to take over the world.” He felt cold and sweaty. 

“He’s going into Hypovolemic shock; radio medical to have fluids and a transfusion ready to go. We’ll stabilize his leg and then transport him out,” a voice said in the room, but Steve couldn’t identify from where it had come. 

“Please, I can pay for the ride; I have the money to pay. I can’t disappoint her; she likes my drawings, even the bad ones, and makes the most delicious French toast I’ve ever had.” 

“Let’s move quickly, he’s clearly becoming more delusional,” a man’s voice replied. Then there was a smack sound, and a soft threat “don’t be so rude” from the first voice.

It was painful to hear him talk, Pippa wanted to tell Steve to shut up, she was afraid that every word would be the very last she would have to remember from him. That her last memory after his death would forever be his praises. She removed the straps from his arms while Natasha took care of his legs, then held his hand gently until the medical team appeared.

“Stay with me, Steve… stay with me,” she chanted. “We’re gonna get you out of here, stay with me, don’t sleep… don’t leave me…”

In no time they were out of the factory, all ready to get into the Helicarrier. When most soldiers and agents split to either go and debrief or return to explore and clean the facilities, she removed her earpiece. “Coulson out, I have something personal to do. Debrief later.” 

Some doctors tried to prevent her from following into the infirmary but she pushed them with one hand, still holding Steve’s. She shoved her badge in her pocket and warned the main surgeon.

“I will stay until he’s out of bed. No negotiations.”


	11. Chapter 11

When Steve woke up, he bolted up into a sitting position and winced at the pain in his shin. He looked to his side and in the dim light of the room saw Pippa sitting next to him. Her eyes were red and she was holding his hand.

Steve slightly squeezed and gently pulled her towards him. With a barely audible “Pippa,” he lifted her onto his lap as they had done after his panic attack in her apartment. He kissed at her jaw line and cheek until their lips met. His arms wrapping around to pull her as close as could be, he relished in the smell of her soap and the softness of her skin. 

He wasn’t sure that this was real; it could be just another one of his dreams, so he held on as if they were in a storm and any moment could be separated. He tried hard to just take in as much as he could before he woke up in the cell and she wasn’t there with him.

She was tired, she had held on during the surgery, held on as he slept in silence, still as a corpse, she had been strong. But exhaustion was stronger than her and when Steve kissed her weakly, his lips needy and shy, she broke down into tears, burying her face in his shoulder.  
Uncontrollable sobs shook her upper body as she clung to Steve’s torso. It was just too much, she had reached her limits. She couldn’t handle more right now.

“Oh I hate you,” she sobbed, pounding an accusing fist on his chest. “I hate the way you make me feel, I hate being so scared for a whole fucking week, I— I hate that you give me the best time of my life then get captured like a rookie and I j-- just hate that I’m insulting you and I’m unfair to you and the first thing you’ll do is apologize even if you don’t have to, am I right?”

Steve let her continue to cry for a few moments; as he felt the tears soaking through his shirt, he decided that he wasn’t dreaming— this was real and Pippa hated him.

“Pippa,” his voice was rough and still weak. “I’m sorry; I…” he grimaced at the apology it seemed she didn’t want to hear and petted at her hair. “I hate it, too; that you were so worried. I…” he took a breath.

“Forgive me, please, Sweetheart” he whispered into her ear. “The thought of you was the only thing that kept me going these past few days. Please, Pippa, you’re the only one I’ve ever known to be strong enough to put up and even help with my crazy life. Tell me what to do to make you feel better, I’ll do it. I can’t lose you; I love you.” His voice was completely wrecked. 

“Oh, stop the apologies!” Pippa sighed deeply, wiping her cheeks with his too tight sleeve. “Like you might lose me now! In a week you’ll be begging me to leave you alone and stop checking on you every thirty seconds! I’m gonna be a real pain you have no idea.”

She ran her hands on his shoulders as if to make sure he was really there, kissed his dry mouth, his cheek. “How do you feel? Do you need anything?”

Steve was confused for a moment, her swing from saying she hated him to a weak threat that he would grow tired of her seemed so fast. But before he could think on it too hard, she was kissing him, and he decided he didn’t need to figure her out completely. Steve could be agile and flexible; adore her even if she was a perplexing mystery to him, perhaps even a part of his love was because he couldn’t anticipate her thoughts. 

Unable to control her shaking hands, she framed his face and kissed him again, locking her lips to his in a vain attempt to never let him go. This was of course the moment Clint and Natasha chose to enter the room.

“Uh, oh… just wanted to check on Cap’ but you guys seem okay…” Clint laughed like an embarrassed eight year old who saw his parents kissing.

Pippa pulled back from him at the sound of Clint’s voice, and Steve slightly blushed at being caught but continued to hold her in his arms.

“I’m more than ok, but I think they did something to my leg.” Steve didn’t remember anything that had happened after he was strapped down. “Other than that, it’s good to see you are looking well.” There was such relief in his voice. His plan had worked, Clint was safe. He was safe.

“Doctors say he will be fine,” Pippa explained in a tone she wanted professional. “His bones had already started healing when they took him to surgical unit. They did all they could but the serum is already doing most of the work.”

“I see you’re being of good help,” the archer chuckled.

She raised an eyebrow and invited, “Now if you don’t mind Barton, you stayed with him the whole week, can I have some time with him for myself? Please tell Fury I’ll get in touch, but I think I deserved a few days off.”

As soon as both agents had left with knowing looks, Pippa leaned her cheek on Steve’s shoulder and caressed his face. “I love you. I’m sorry it took so long. I should have found you earlier.”

“I”m sure you did everything you could to find me as soon as—” Steve stopped his thought and tipped her head up scanning her face and eyes. “Have you been eating? Taking care of yourself? How much sleep did you get this week?”

“I… more than you,” Pippa eluded, looking down. “I was in a safe place surrounded by talented coworkers and even a Hulk! You don’t have to worry for me, all the food and sleep in the word aren’t better for me than having my man by my side.” She shook her head and smiled softly. “Do I look that terrible?” 

“My girl never looks terrible— just tired, like she needs some time away from her very demanding job and maybe…” Steve’s blush became darker. “…some time with her loving boyfriend who is going to be slightly lame for a few days and would very much like to have her company.” 

She looked at him, his righteous but exhausted face, and kissed the crease on his brow. “I can’t wait to bring you back home sweetheart. It’s all that matters to me.”

“Can’t wait?” Steve’s brows arched and his smile became mischievous. “Well, let’s go then.” His eyes were looking around to make sure no one would hear. “You still have your car here? Or we can get a taxi, I don’t think I can ride my bike with this soft cast on.” He saw the look on Pippa’s face. 

“Oh come on, Sweetheart. I don’t need to be here; the serum is doing most of the work, you said so yourself. I can free up a bed and resources for someone else, and we’ll order in a big dinner and watch some movies, and you can show me how to order things off the internet for my apartment and…” he realized he was rambling again. “Please, Pippa? I’ll… I’ll leave a note so no one will worry.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Are you saying you want to break out of a S.H.I.E.L.D. medical center and disappear just after being captured by Hydra??” she whispered quickly, adopting his own expressions. “Well, they’ll never let you leave if you ask, but they will freak out when they see your empty bed.”

She tried to be a responsible adult but she was already talking in future tense, knowing that she had already made her call. She bit her bottom lip and looked down.

“If you’re really impossible to reason with, I might know a way to get out of here-- an elevator that is never used during the nurses’ lunch break that leads to a back alley, that I might or might not have used a few times without permission while I was doing physical therapy after New York.

“But I still think it’s a bad idea, you should rest and let people take care of you, follow your girlfriend’s example, she’s always…” Pippa advised before chuckling, unable to pretend she was a serious girl.

“You know I’ll rest better at home with you,” he whispered while quickly writing a note to leave on his bed. He grabbed his coat that thankfully still had his key in the pocket and the set of crutches that had been left in his room. Trying his best with his bad leg, they sneaked their way down the hall to the elevator.

“ _Look at you, fifty and running away with the prettiest boy of the group like a bad teenage road movie_ ,” Pippa thought as she turned to the left to avoid the surveillance cameras she knew. Yet nothing could have made her happier than finally getting some rest with Steve. He already seemed in much better health, it was such a relief after all these hours of fear.

Steve couldn’t contain his giddiness when they were in parking garage. If they got “caught,” it wouldn’t be real trouble, and he could always put on his confused old-man air (almost everybody at S.H.I.E.L.D. seem to think him incapable of breaking rules). As he gingerly arranged himself to fit in the passenger side of Pippa’s car, a thought occurred to him.

“We should stop by your apartment first, and you can pack a bag. Umm… that is…” Steve rubbed at the back of his neck. “If you would like to stay with me for a couple of days?”

Pippa nodded and drove quickly to her apartment where she grabbed a suitcase and filled it with the first clothes she found, half of her bathroom, some underwear, and her laptop. She hoped she hadn’t forgotten anything, but couldn’t really worry though, she wouldn’t need much now.

She was reassured when she saw Steve was still there. She kissed his cheek and joked, “Now let’s go before someone notices I have the Steve Rogers in pajamas in my car…”

\--

“So what should we order? Chinese? Thai? Everything sounds like it would be good to me.” Steve asked as he opened the door to his apartment. He grimaced when he saw the mess still on the table and the kitchen from the dinner last night— no, a week ago.

“Sorry, sorry.” Steve hobbled over to try and straighten up, but found it difficult to carry the dishes and hold on to his crutches at the same time.

“Hey, hey… will you stop that?” Pippa ordered as she followed and took the dishes away from him. She pointed at his chair, and frowned to show her authority wouldn’t suffer any rebellion.  
  
“You sit here and…” She found some menus on the fridge, handed them to Steve. “And you order food. Anything you want, I would eat a Chitauri now, I’m so hungry! In the meantime I’ll take care of the… the ecosystems that evolved in those plates,” she said with a disgusted pout as she analyzed the moldy leftovers. In the kitchen, she kept asking Steve for the location of what she couldn’t find. She didn’t want to invade his place and start rummaging through his cupboards without his permission.

Steve used his land line to call the Korean place around the corner and ordered one of everything he loved from the menu. When Pippa was looking for his dish soap under the sink, he moved over to his bookcase and pulled out his copy of _Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_. He shook the book by its spine and a collection of twenty dollar bills fell from between the pages. Steve bent over to pick up one that had slipped to the floor, supporting himself with his crutch.

When he was righted again, he saw Pippa had caught him up and out of his seat. “My wallet was stolen…” he slightly pouted. “I needed to get up to get some money for the delivery guy.”

“Don’t do that face, I can’t stay mad at you,” Pippa said with a fond smile. She placed an arm behind his back and escorted Steve to the chair, helping him as he adjusted his leg. She then picked up all the bills and put them back in the book before finishing to clean up the dishes.

After pouring them two large glasses of Coke, she took her suitcase from where she had left it next to the door and asked, a bit embarrassed, “Where can I, uh… put all my stuff?”

It felt strange to be there, to know she would spend a few days, live by Steve’s rules. Anyone would have found it strange after a single date but they didn’t do anything like others and with the hectic life they had, it was normal after all that their relationship grew intense more quickly.

Steve made a motion to get up but her threatening stare made him feel as if Mjolnir was on his lap, forcing him to stay put. So instead of physically showing her, he motioned towards the area around his bed where a long dresser was placed under the tall windows.  
“I only use the top three drawers on the right. You can have the other nine, and there is some room in my armoire to hang things, but my shield takes up a lot of space in there.”

Pippa opened her suitcase and started to unpack; she had only meant to put it in a corner of the room where it wouldn’t disturb them, but she didn’t want to have to take out her underwear every time she would need something. It was so strange to try and claim territory in someone else’s apartment; she hadn’t slept at a friend’s for years.

Steve was lost in his thoughts as he watched her unpack, admiring how efficient and graceful she was in her movements, how beautiful her face was, how brave and strong she was. In that moment, the memory of her busting through the door at the Hydra base came back to him. It hadn’t been a dream, she came and shot the man who was… sawing into his shin bone.

Instead of the anxiety and frustration he usually felt when thinking of situations like that, he was overwhelmed with gratitude and admiration. He still wanted to protect her like he had desired to for his mother, and Bucky, and even Peggy. But with Pippa, he knew she wanted to protect him, too, and she was strong enough to do it.

Suddenly, he felt like he couldn’t stand the few yards of space between them, and he got up, hobbling to her without his crutches.

She was done filling one drawer when she turned and saw Steve right behind her. She was about to scold him but out of nowhere he took her in a warm embrace and kissed her in a way that made her forget everything. She held his waist to prevent him from leaning too much, raised on her toes and responded to his lips. It was wonderful to feel so loved even when she looked so tired, without make-up, when her last shower was perhaps even less recent than her last nap. Still he held her like she was a precious gem.

The kiss lasted, she ran a hand on his neck, pressed her breasts to his chest to keep a good balance until the doorbell rang, almost managing to ruin the moment.

“I think I have to go, handsome,” she murmured against his lips. “Save me some of this for later?”

“As you wish,” Steve answered and watched her as she made her way to the door, unsure if she was swaying her hips like that on purpose.

He hobbled back to his crutches and then to his dining table, overhearing Pippa converse with the delivery guy in his native language. When she bid him “ _Annyeonghi gaseyo_ ” and brought the six bags of food to the table, Steve arched his eyebrow and smiled.

“Just how many languages _do_ you know, Sweetheart?”

“Enough to survive pretty much everywhere in the world,” Pippa admitted as she set everything on the table.”But I must confess I can’t read Korean, its writing system is very complicated, much more than Chinese for example. While Japanese is the easiest in my opinion.”

She opened all the boxes with a greedy smile, stole a slice of kimchi with her fingers. “Food!” she sighed happily. She had to admit she needed a good meal now. As she mixed the egg of her bibimbap with the other ingredients, she gestured toward Steve with her chopsticks.“Massige deuseyo!“

“So, we could travel anywhere!” Steve slurped some noodles from his Jajangmyeon and saw the quizzical look on her face. “Like for a vacation. I know a few languages, but mostly European. It’s good to know we have options.” He smiled, thinking of all of the places they could travel together if they ever got time off from S.H.I.E.L.D. like this again.


	13. Chapter 13

“After this I thought…well, I’ve never really entertained before and I don’t think both of us can fit on my chaise, so if you would like… we could maneuver the television over near the bed and watch something from there. I think it would be easier to get comfortable there. I…” Steve looked down at his plate, moving around a piece of tofu. “I know you’ve had a long day.”

“Sounds good to me, as long as I can ready for the night, and probably fall asleep really fast,” she smiled sheepishly, holding back a yawn. “I’m starting to feel my limits, I don’t even know the time.”

“I hope you can feel as comfortable here as I was in your home, so please don’t feel shy about using anything or feeling like you have to do something. And tonight we still have the same deal, ok? If you start feeling uncomfortable, I’ll sleep in the bath. It’s no problem.” Steve gave a sincere smile and then chuckled. “Besides, it would be the first time that bathtub was actually used.”

Her phone rang and she quickly picked up, rolling her eyes. “Yes, sir. He’s with me. Don’t worry, I’m keeping him under surveillance. No, I won’t lose him. Yep. I’ll send flowers to the worried nurses, I promise. Thank you, see you next week. Hey, I think I deserved it, I… yes. Okay. Okay, thanks.”

She put down the phone and took Steve’s hand, still greedily catching up on her lost calories. “Fury wasn’t really happy but you know him, it won’t last long,” she smiled before turning more serious. “But you had a long week too. I… we don’t have to talk about it, but Clint told me what you did for him.”

Steve’s eyelids fluttered, he seemed worried as if he were afraid to be scolded again. Pippa bit her lower lip, concerned she always came across as terrifying. “Hey, I always knew you were great. You were awesome to him, thank you.” No one ever had to explain to him how valuable his cells were, but he had lost so many of the people he cared about, it pained him to think of losing another friend. 

“I’m just glad they didn’t hurt him more. He’s an amazing guy, just as he is— no enhancements needed.” Steve’s appetite suddenly left him, and he put his chopsticks down, screwing up the courage to ask the million dollar question. 

“Do you know if S.H.I.E.L.D. found the… samples they took from me? Or Hydra’s tests they were performing on them?” he asked with dread in his heart. Pippa shook her head softly.

“Our teams cleaned the place, we took a lot of prisoners but haven’t managed to gather enough information yet. You know Hydra soldiers, about half of them suicided on the way. We took all of their samples but according to the schedule Clint gave us and our estimations, there wasn’t enough blood in their labs compared to what they took from you. We’re afraid they sent samples somewhere else. However, there’s nothing to worry about, Clint told me they couldn’t do anything with your blood anyway, that’s why they wanted… herm, other things.”

She hoped she was right, she tried to believe it. If they hadn’t found something to do with the blood yet it was probably unusable, or so she hoped. There was a part of Steve’s speech she didn’t appreciate though and got up to join him on the other side of the table.

“Hey, you…” She leaned in and took his head in her hands. Steve was already thinking of what he would need to do to recover those samples— he had to recover and destroy whatever tests they had done; he had to make up for his mistake. He was so caught up in his thoughts, Pippa took him by surprise with her kiss. 

He felt lovely when he was caught off guard. Gentle at first, she slowly got more passionate until the tip of their tongues met, she guided Steve for a few delicious seconds before slowing down to let him take the lead. Her knees were weak when they lazily broke the kiss. 

“Did the serum teach you that?” she purred, hands on his shoulders. “You’re an amazing guy, just as you are— no enhancements needed.”

His mind felt fuzzy in a completely different way than it had been the past week as the feelings he had earlier in the evening returned. He reasoned that there was no use in worrying about it now, S.H.I.E.L.D. would be working on it tonight and he had a bum leg and a pretty girl in his arms. He kissed at her neck under her ear and then whispered, “If I recall correctly, you taught me that.”

When she laughed, Steve felt like he could fly on his own just like Stark or Thor. He trailed after her as she pulled away from him, and watched as she made her way to the bathroom with an armful of things, announcing she was going to get ready for bed. 

Once he heard the water start, he put away the leftovers, found a chocolate bar in his pantry (only sweet thing available to eat), and then brought it and some bottles of water to the bed. He changed into a fresh shirt and boxers, turned off all the lights but the lamps on the nightstands, and settled in. 

He was a little frustrated that what should have only taken a few minutes was much more laborious as he navigated not using his leg and dealing with the crutches. Happy to be sitting in his comfortable bed, he pulled out his small sketch pad, and started drawing a picture of Pippa laughing over a wine glass on their first date. After a few moments he heard the water shut off, realized he was on “Pippa’s side,” and scrambled to maneuver over before she came out. He continued to work on the drawing until he heard the door open.

She thought at first that she was too tired for a full shower but knowing that she was going to sleep in Steve’s bed made her want to get rid of that layer of sweat on her skin, and make her hair less greasy. The shower quickly turned into an intense body hairs hunt, she couldn’t decently sleep next to Steve with legs and armpits anything but smooth, and she applied all the moisturizing cream she hadn’t used during the last week.

After slightly drying her wavy hair in a towel, she was wondering which babydoll she would wear when her eyes caught a clean t-shirt, neatly folded on the washing machine. She only hesitated for a second, he said she could be comfortable here and if she wasn’t bold, he certainly wouldn’t be either. The large gray t-shirt that covered the top of her thighs was a strange contrast with the black and red laces of her boxers but she felt good in it, it was way too big, it smelled like Steve and it made her feel petite. She pushed the door, walked to the bed with a guilty pout.

“I… do you mind I borrowed one of your t-shirts?” she asked, blushing. She sat on the bed without waiting for an answer and opened a bottle of water to hide her sudden lack of confidence. 

Steve’s hand stopped moving his pencil when he saw her. He placed his sketchbook to the side without looking away. Her wearing his shirt made him feel odd in a way he couldn’t quite describe. He reached to her wrist— had it always been so small and delicate?— and gently pulled her to him. When she was braced over him, his eyes were dancing trying to take in every detail of her face. 

“Mind?” the astonishment coming through his voice. “Sweetheart, you look so good in my t-shirt, you can keep it.” Steven then kissed her, resting his hand on the back of her neck gently.

Pippa rubbed her nose against his, entwined their fingers with a happy smile. There was nothing not to love about him, and she refused to think he was anything but adorable. This cute smile, these bright eyes, long lashes, the discrete bump on the bridge of his nose, his full lower lip, every imperfection of his skin, all the little details were a part of him and his attractiveness. And every kiss, every touch made her feel good. 

“No, you don’t understand. I don’t want to keep it!” she smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I want to wear it because it’s yours. I’m gonna steal the shirts that smell like you, if it starts having my smell where’s the fun?”

She wrapped an arm around his chest. “They didn’t warn you of what it’s like to have a girlfriend, right? They didn’t tell you they stick their noses in everything and shamelessly steal your stuff?” With a soft laugh she nuzzled his shoulder, finally relaxing after days of worrying.

Steve thought for a moment about the advice Bucky had given him. Bucky, who had never had a steady— hell, never went out with the same girl twice, had only talked to Steve about the chase but never the catch. Steve felt a bittersweet pain when he realized he finally did something with a girl before Bucky did.

“With you, I don’t think I’ll mind that either.” He moved his warm large hand in lazy circles over her back, comforted by touching her, feeling her chest rise and fall with her breathing. “I’ve been wanting this for a long time.” He stopped moving for a second but then resumed his rubbing her back, biting his lip. He hadn’t really wanted to say that aloud, but it was true, and he didn’t want to take it back.

“This…” Pippa repeated in a sad tone. “I have dreamed of finding a good partner who understands every aspect of my life, I’ve dreamed of being hugged and congratulated by Captain America but I never ever dared to hope both would happen at the same time.”She blinked and contained a yawn. “Steve, with all that happened I realize I never thanked you for last week. At the gym. Thanks for standing up for me, it doesn’t happen often. I learned to stand for myself because I was always on my own. Thanks for precipitating things a bit. Now we won’t have to hide and pretend, in the end it’s better this way.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Sweetheart. I’m still not sure you should, but you are right. I’m not great at lying. You are unlike any other person I’ve had in my life, and I don’t want to hide you away or pretend I don’t feel the way I do about you.” Steve took a deep breath.

She felt exhausted, her whole body almost loose after all the effort she had made the whole week. She swallowed heavily, touched to hear the perfect words coming from him, and gave Steve’s cheek a long kiss. She had almost lost him, it wasn’t the first nor the last time, she wouldn’t miss an occasion to tell him again.

“I love you, honey… I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She settled in and he felt her body become more limp against him, her breathing becoming deeper. He reached up to the switch on the wall and the apartment was now dark except for the glow of the faint street lights beyond his wall of windows. He went back to rubbing at her back and hip, trying to work out the bits of tension he could still feel there until, despite the pain in his leg, he fell into the best sleep he had in ages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this installment. There will be a new story up soon for this series! 
> 
> Thank you for all your comments and kudos!


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